babies to be tested!!

The Government’s school’s minister has announced that new born
babies are to be tested on their reading, writing and arithmetic skills
the moment they emerge from the womb. The Department claim that the
data will help give a better picture of student’s first nine months of
academic progress during gestation.
Newborn babies are now
required to achieve key-stage 0.5 as part of the Government’s plans for
pre-school and pred-birth education. They have set a target of 95% of
new born babies achieving key-stage 0.5 by 2010, but critics say that
testing children of this age is too traumatic for them and that they
should be allowed to at least be cleaned up and have a drink of milk
before testing begins.
During a recent pilot scheme one
woman’s womb was criticized by Ofsted for failing to provide a varied
enough curriculum, with Physical Education singled out as lacking in
variety, with the pupil reduced to limited routines of wriggling and
kicking.
The government also took this opportunity to deny
once again that GCSE Maths had got easier, despite the fact that 38% of
new born babies managed to pass it.

So funny!

Things are almost that bad!! lolol

oooh it's out of date already, they've changed everything again today and the baby needs to be passing the new vocational test.