Letter to Tesco customer

Proof of what can happen if a wife or girlfriend drags her husband or
boyfriend along shopping.

This letter was actually sent by Tesco's Head Office to a customer in
Oxford last year.

Dear Mrs. Mxxxxx,

Whilst we would like to thank you for your valued custom and use of the
Tesco Loyalty Card, the Manager of our store in Banbury is considering
banning you and your family from shopping with us, unless your husband stops
his antics.

Below is a list of his actions over the past few months all verified by our
surveillance cameras:

1. June 15th: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's
trolleys when they weren't looking.

2. July 2nd: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at
5-minute intervals.

3. July 7th: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to
feminine products aisle.

4. July 19th: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official tone,
³Code 3 in Housewares²..... and watched what happened.

5. August 14th: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

6. September 15th: Set up a tent in the outdoor clothing department and
told shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring sausages and a Calor
gas stove.

7. September 23rd: When the Deputy Manager asked if she could help him, he
began to cry and asked, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'

8. October 4th: Looked right into the security camera; used it as a
mirror, picked his nose, and ate it.

9. October 10th: While appearing to be choosing kitchen knives in the
Housewares aisle asked an assistant if he knew where the antidepressants
were.

10. November 3rd: Darted around the store suspiciously, loudly humming the
Mission Impossible' theme.

11. November 6th: In the kitchenware aisle, practised the 'Madonna look'
using different size funnels.

12. November 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed, yelled
PICK ME! PICK ME!

13. November 21st: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, assumed
the foetal position and screamed NO! NO! It's those voices again.

And last, but not least:

14. November 23rd: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited a while;
then yelled, very loudly,
There is no toilet paper in here.'


Wasn¹t mine!

(I don¹t think!)

mmm her hubby sounds quite fun to be with ...sometimes i suppose .others a total nightmare .
imagine what this bloke would say if one of the kids did the same things .

to be honest is it a wind up or is there some idiot goes round doing that sort of thing

Not sure Kim - it was sent to me as a real letter, but I cannot
imagine Tesco sending it and listing all those misdemeanours - and
surely they should write to him, not her.
Whatever, I still thought it was funny.

hes got alot of time on his hands hasnt he some of those were a bit disturbing some were hilarious i love the bit shere he crawls in a featal position when the announcment went off and said the voices in my head and the one where hes in a laundry dryer and shouts pick me pick me!!
i dont think they would send this can you imagine some one seriously writing all that without smiling a little bit!! :-)

remember i worked at tesco for 21 years and trust me ,some of the managers WOULD have sent it , some of them had a wicked sense of humour .

Better not show this to DH, as since retiring he always comes shopping with me and this might give him ideas.

I got this in an email too,lol.

I had this in an email years ago but it was Wal-Mart!

Celfyddydau wrote:I had this in an email years ago but it was Wal-Mart!

Obviously one of those urban legends then